Rainbow families changing the lives of vulnerable children

Barnardos short-term foster carers Simone and Louise start each day with a walk and a coffee together. Often, they are also joined by a baby who has been placed in their care.   

For this wife and wife team, being able to help babies and young children through a difficult time in their lives is central to their family life. This year, 2024, Simone notches up 20 years as a short-term foster carer, but it nearly came to an end when she and Louise moved in together.

Simone discovered her nurturing skills in her 20s when she had twin girls with her then husband shortly before moving to Singapore and then Hong Kong. Three years later, she returned to Sydney with her daughters as a single mother. She was fortunate to have enough support from the girls’ father to be able to stay at home. As the girls became more independent, she felt she wanted to do more to give back to the community. Knowing Simone’s strong parenting capability, a close friend immediately suggested foster care.

“All I knew of foster care was Pippa from Home & Away, who took on children forever,” said Simone. As a single mother, she wasn’t looking to expand her family, but her skills and knowledge of child development meant she was a great candidate for short-term foster care.

Simone was acutely aware that children aren’t always presented with the same life chances. “So much happens in those early years. When a parent doesn’t have the capacity to support a child’s development in the first 12 months, there can be big gaps in a child’s development.”

“I knew I could fill that gap, so children could meet their developmental milestones and get the support they need,” said Simone. While she spent years strengthening her nurturing skills and becoming a fierce advocate for vulnerable children, she also made another self-discovery.

After realising her attraction to women, Simone came out to her friends and family in 2017.  Not long after that she met Louise. To her surprise, Louise wasn’t intimidated by Simone’s role as a carer. Louise admired and respected Simone’s work. So much so, that for their third date, Louise organised a picnic in the botanic gardens for Simone and the baby that she was caring for at the time.

Two years later Simone and Louise moved in together. Although she regularly had breaks from fostering, in between ‘placements’, Simone took 6 months off caring. When they were settled in their new lives together, Simone got back in touch with her foster care agency to introduce her partner and enquire about foster care training for Louise. Despite having a great relationship with her agency, she was shocked at their response when she mentioned her new partner’s name.

“They told me I could no longer foster with them because it wouldn’t be ‘in line with their ethics’” Despite the shock and anger she and Louise experienced, Simone decided not to focus on the negative energy of this injustice. “I knew my job was to look after these babies and I wanted to get back to fostering as soon as possible”

Simone began calling around other foster care providers to enquire about their policy. She eventually spoke to a man in the intake team of a large agency who was also a member of the LGBTQI+ community. “I told him my story and he revealed that he fostered with his husband through another organisation – Barnardos.”

“Barnardos are so inclusive. Their priority is caring for children, no matter what your orientation or status is,” said Simone. As part of the short-term foster care team, Simone and Louise receive ongoing training and support from a team that is always on call to assist. Together they work with Barnardos as part of a team, to ensure each child has everything they need to thrive. They have also built strong connections in the local fostering community.

While Simone is the primary carer, Louise often works from home. For Louise, who didn’t have children prior to meeting Simone, she has been able to discover her maternal side through becoming a carer.  She works a 9 day fortnight so that she can have a day as primary carer and give Simone a break. It is a lifestyle that brings out the best in both women and has given both of them opportunities to see a new side to their partner.

While the length of time they care for a baby can vary from a few months to a year, Simone and Louise are also able to take breaks from fostering so they can take time away together. She acknowledges it can be hard when a child has to leave, but it’s also rewarding to see them move on to their forever home – whether that be back with family or on to a new permanent home with a foster or prospective adoptive family.

“You need to decide what role you want to play first – whether it be short-term or fostering to expand your family,” said Simone, who has fostered 30 children in the last 20 years, either solo or with Louise. “We want to help as many children have the best start to life as possible and we want to keep doing it for as long as we can.”

Simone says that while many of these children won’t remember those early days as they grow, she feels a great sense of intrinsic pride in having played an important role for so many children.

Barnardos is urgently seeking short term carers in South West Sydney, Western Sydney, and Newcastle, in addition to generally needing all types of carers across NSW for school aged children and young sibling groups of 3-4 children Find out more about becoming a Barnardos foster carer – 1800 663 441.