Meet Dacien, Shaun and baby Lachlan. This gorgeous family share their journey to parenthood seeded right back at a Rainbow Families seminar in 2020.
You attended a Making Rainbow Families Happen seminar in 2020. What shifted for you after that, and how did it shape the path you chose?
Attending the Making Rainbow Families Happen seminar was a pivotal moment for us. Before that, we knew we wanted to become parents, but the pathways felt overwhelming and a little uncertain. The seminar helped us understand the different options available to LGBTIQA+ families and gave us the confidence that building a family through surrogacy was possible.
What really shifted for us was hearing from other families who had already walked the path. Seeing their stories made it feel real. It helped us understand both the emotional and practical aspects of the journey and reinforced the importance of doing it in a way that respected everyone involved.
After that seminar, we left feeling informed, hopeful, and determined to start taking the steps toward building the family we had always imagined.
What led you to pursue the Canadian altruistic surrogacy route, and how did you go about finding your IVF clinic and egg donor?
Canada appealed to us because of its well-regulated altruistic surrogacy framework. We also had close friends who built their family through Canadian surrogacy, which gave us confidence in the process.
Through the Growing Families network we were introduced to clinics experienced with international intended parents, which led us to Victory Reproductive Care in Windsor. We were fortunate to match with a semi-known egg donor in Ontario and created embryos using samples from both of us.
You were preparing to sign with a Canadian agency when a friend offered to carry for you. What happened?
That moment is something we will never forget.
We were already deep into the process and had begun preparing to sign with a Canadian agency to be matched with a surrogate. Around that time, a close friend of ours had been living with us in Sydney after going through a breakup and being unable to travel back to the UK during COVID.
She had quietly followed every step of our journey while living with us. One evening she sat us down and said she wanted to help us have our family.
We were completely taken by surprise. We cried. It was one of the most generous and selfless offers we could ever imagine.
At the same time, we were cautious. She had never had children before and had some health considerations, so we knew there would be many questions to answer and steps to take before anything could move forward. But in that moment, what stood out most was the depth of friendship and love behind her offer.
How did you navigate the NSW legal requirements
Navigating the legal framework in NSW was one of the most important parts of the journey for us.
We worked closely with a lawyer who specialises in Australian surrogacy law. She guided us through the legal requirements step by step and helped ensure everything was done properly and ethically.
The process involved creating a formal surrogacy agreement, understanding everyone’s rights and responsibilities, and completing the required counselling sessions. Her guidance helped make a complex process feel manageable and ensured that all of us felt informed, protected, and supported.
What was the counselling experience like?
The counselling process at first it felt like a formal step we needed to complete. But it quickly became much more than that.
The sessions gave us space to talk through every possible scenario openly and honestly - emotionally, practically, and ethically. It ensured that everyone involved was fully prepared for the journey ahead.
One question from the psychologist has always stayed with us. She asked what we would do if medical professionals said our child would survive less than a week after birth. Our instinct was that we wouldn’t want to put our friend through that pain. Our surrogate said she would continue because she would want us to have that precious week with our child.
Both answers came from a place of love, and that moment really highlighted the depth of care everyone was bringing to the process.
Your surrogate travelled to Canada for seven weeks. How did you support her?
When our surrogate travelled to Windsor for the embryo transfer process, we wanted to make sure she felt as supported as possible.
She spent seven weeks in Canada preparing for the transfer, and during that time we spoke with her almost daily. We also arranged for her mum and dad to travel from the UK so she could have family support while she was there. It was important to us that she never felt like she was going through such a big experience alone.
At the end of the seven weeks, her parents had to return home. As she was driving back from dropping them at Toronto airport, the clinic called to say the transfer could happen in three days. She rang us in tears to tell us.
That night, Dacien started searching for flights and managed to piece together a very indirect route using points to get to Canada. He arrived the day before the transfer, and it meant so much that we could be there to support her in that moment.
She later moved in with you during the pregnancy. What was that like?
Having her live with us during the pregnancy was incredibly special.
It meant we were able to experience the journey in a way that many intended parents don’t get to. We were there for the injections, the appointments, the scans, and the small everyday milestones along the way.
It also strengthened our friendship even further. There were so many moments of excitement, nerves, laughter, and anticipation that we got to share together.
Being present for so much of the process gave us a deep appreciation for everything she was doing and the incredible commitment that surrogacy involves.
Can you describe the day Lachlan was born?
The day Lachlan was born is something we will carry with us forever.
After such a long journey filled with hope, planning, and anticipation.. it all went out the window as he decided that he wanted to join us after 35 weeks and two days.
There was a moment where everything just slowed down and it hit us that we were finally dads.
Seeing him for the first time, holding him, and hearing his tiny cries was indescribable. It felt like the world had shifted in the best possible way.
That moment was not only the beginning of Lachlan’s life but also the beginning of our life as parents, and we will always be grateful to the incredible people who helped make that possible.
What did receiving the parentage order and birth certificate mean?
Receiving the parentage order from the NSW Supreme Court and later Lachlan’s birth certificate listing us both as fathers was incredibly meaningful. It’s that last step, that formally recognises him as ours.
It was a moment we look back on with relief, pride, and gratitude.
How has the Rainbow Families community shaped your experience?
The community is incredibly inclusive and supportive, and connecting with Rainbow Families has been such an important part of our journey. Through events, playgroups, and gatherings we’ve met many other LGBTIQA+ families who share similar experiences.
It’s comforting to know that Lachlan will grow up surrounded by other families that look like ours and within a community that celebrates diversity and love.
What does being a visible rainbow family mean to you now?
Love makes a family in many different ways.
Marching together in the Mardi Gras parade this year as part of Gay Dads Australia and Rainbow Families feels incredibly meaningful. For us, it’s about celebrating the community that helped make our journey possible and showing Lachlan that he comes from a place of pride, love, and belonging.
Our hope is that he grows up confident in who he is and proud of his family story.
It also shows our friends and others in our community that it is still possible for them to have a family. It feels different when you know the person or it’s a friend of a friend.
What would you say to others dreaming of having a child?
Your journey to parenthood may look different for everyone, but it is possible.
Surround yourself with good information, supportive communities, and people who have walked the path before you. Your journey can feel long and sometimes uncertain, but it is also filled with incredible moments of generosity, kindness, and love.
And when you finally meet your child, every step of that journey suddenly makes sense.
Thinking about starting a family of your own?
You can join our next Making Rainbow Families Seminar HERE.
Starting a family can feel like a daunting journey, but it all begins with taking that first step. That’s what our Making Rainbow Families Seminar is all about - creating a welcoming, supportive space for LGBTQ+ people to learn from experts about how to start a family as an LGBTQ+ intended parent.
We will be hosting our next seminar:
- WHEN: Saturday, May 23, 2026.
- TIME: 10am - 4pm
- LOCATION: Level 3/321, Kent St in Sydney.