All the Ways You Can Start a Family :)

There’s no one way to grow a family — and every path is special. Whether your journey includes fertility treatments, surrogacy, adoption, or fostering, what matters most is finding the option that feels right for you.

Here are some of the ways people in Australia start or build their families.

For many the first step is choosing an egg or sperm donor.

DIY Insemination: when the prospective birth parent has a functional uterus, ovaries, regular periods, no known fertility issues, and access to a known donor (see next page for detailed explanation of how to inseminate at home).

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI): in the fertility clinic, using frozen anonymous or known donor sperm, blood tests/ultrasound are used to determine the point of ovulation. A tube is then placed in the cervix and the sperm deposited directly into the uterus.

Invitro Fertilisation (IVF): if IUI has been ineffective or when personal circumstances warrant early intervention. IVF is a complex process that involves medication, blood tests, ultrasounds, and surgery to extract eggs from the ovaries. The eggs are fertilised in a petri dish with known or unknown donor sperm. Healthy embryos are either transferred into the uterus and/or frozen for later use.

Surrogacy: when prospective parent/s do not have a (functional) uterus. Surrogacy can occur with various arrangements i.e. donor egg and parent sperm, surrogate/parent egg and donor sperm etc. The egg is fertilised in the laboratory and embryo is transferred to the surrogate. Some people ask a family member or friend and others use websites to find a surrogate. In Australia surrogacy must be altruistic (the only money that changes hands is for genuine costs incurred) but international agencies are able to arrange overseas surrogates for a fee.

Here is a link to the Australian Surrogacy Process Chart - designed by one of our community members who has been through surrogacy twice!

Fostering or adoption: same-sex adoption and fostering is legal in Australia, though some agencies do still discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community. Australia recognises international adoptions-- these can be both lengthy and costly, involving different criteria and eligibility requirements depending on the country. Rainbow Families has ongoing support from Barnados Australia who are very welcoming of the LGBTQ+ community and participate in regular webinars and seminars for our community.

SELECTING A DONOR

We strongly recommends you talk to your children about being donor conceived from the very beginning.

Anonymous Donor

How: access frozen donor eggs or sperm from Australian or international donors through your local fertility clinic.
Benefits: easy accessibility, very low STI/STD risk, and no risk of donor wanting to be a parent.
Risks: high cost, limited information about donor, no opportunity to meet til child is 18, unable to do home insemination.

Known donor

How: ask friends or family (e.g. a sibling of the non-gestational parent) or use a donor website or FaceBook group like Sperm Donation Australia.
Benefits: reduced costs, potential to do home insemination, able to have the donor in the child’s life.
Risks: donor might decide they want to play a more active parental role than originally agreed, STDs/STIs, potentially unsafe if meeting a stranger.

Becoming a Known Donor

How: donate eggs or sperm to friends or family members
Benefits: helping friends or family, possible to be a part of the child's life.
Risks: egg donation is lengthy and sometimes painful, recipient family might change the terms of your involvement.

Both parties need to consider what role the donor will play, have clear discussions around involvement and expectations, and document this. Donor arrangements are not legal documents, regardless of whether they are made at home or in a clinic, but are helpful in showing intention.

Check out this article by lawyer Sarah Jefford and other articles and tips on legal aspects to consider. You may also want to consider getting legal advice on this matter before you begin.

P.S. - If doing home insemination we recommend STD/STI checks, too!

MAKING RAINBOW FAMILIES SEMINAR- Annual event.

We also host Australia's most comprehensive LGBTQ+ seminar for prosective parents - or those growing their families.

Click the link here for details on our next seminar. Available in person in Sydney CBD or online for those across Australia.

HOW TO DO A HOME INSEMINATION

Track your period cycle for at least 3 months prior to the first attempt. This allows you to know your cycle length, fertile days, and fertility signs. Try a free app to keep a daily record. Take your temperature before you get out of bed in the morning. You will notice a significant drop in your baseline temperature just prior to ovulation (i.e. egg release).

The cervix forms the bottom portion of the uterus and the top portion of the birth passage. While you are on the toilet, use a finger to locate your cervix, feel how firm it is, and whether there is an opening. A fertile cervix is easy to reach and soft, with a small circular opening. Fertile mucus is clear and stretchy, like egg-white.

There are several ways to inseminate at home, the most common being to use a 10ml needleless syringe or silicone menstrual cup (both available from chemists). On your fertile dates ensure you have provided your donor with either a sterilised specimen jar or menstrual cup for their donation. Keep the donation at body temperature (i.e. under your arm) and use within 30 minutes (or use immediately if in a menstrual cup).

Make sure you’re comfortable and relaxed, usually with a pillow under your hips to tilt the pelvis. If using needleless syringe, holding the plunger end of the syringe dip the opposite end into the semen and gently pull the plunger up until all the semen is in the syringe. Then insert the syringe into the birthing canal towards the cervix, and slowly depress the plunger, gently coating the cervix with semen. You may wish to orgasm just prior to or just after insemination-- orgasm stimulates the cervix causing it to pulsate, which potentially can help draw the semen up into the uterus. Continue to lay with hips tilted for 15 minutes. Dispose of/sterilise equipment as necessary.

Unless in a relationship/co-parenting agreement together intercourse is not recommended as a way to conceive: the donor will then be legally considered the other parent, and there are also potential health risks. In Australia it is illegal to pay someone to provide you with sperm or eggs, though you may pay any costs incurred (e.g. flights, doctor visits etc).

Rainbow Families collaborates with a number of trusted organisations to support LGBTQ+ parents and carers:

• Genea Fertility – Fertility support and treatment
• Surrogacy Australia – Surrogacy education and support
• Barnardos Australia – Fostering and adoption services
• Growing Families – Global family-building guidance and connection

This resource was originally developed by developed by Rainbow Families Qld to assist the LGBTQ+ community to understand their options in starting a rainbow family.